Land the Helicopter: How Parents Can Get the Best Value from Their Child’s Softball Lessons

Here’s the situation. You are bringing your fastpitch softball player (or any child in any sport for that matter) to a private instructor.

Presumably you have vetted that instructor and think he/she has something to offer your player. Then, when the instructor explains how to do something you take it upon yourself to repeat the exact same instructions to your daughter (or son)?

Probably more of you than you care to admit. I get why you do it.

You’re excited, and you see the value in what’s being said. You’re also anxious to be sure your daughter (or son) understands what’s being said so she (or he) can execute it flawlessly. Not to mention you’re probably used to giving your child instructions in all areas of her (or his) life.

Yet whether you realize it or not, all you’ve done is get in the way of the learning process. It would be like following your daughter (or son) to math or history class and repeating everything the teacher says – as if your daughter (or son) can only understand information when it’s given by you.

To get the best value for the money you’re investing, you need to let the instructor do his (or her) job. Unless the instructor speaks a different language and you need to translate, or your daughter (or son) is hearing-impaired and needs you to sign what’s being said, allow the instructor to speak and interact directly with your daughter (or son).

The reality is if you and an instructor are both talking, your daughter (or son) is going to tend to hear your voice over the instructor’s. After all, she (or he) is used to hearing you and is attuned to your voice.

But if you’re bringing your daughter (or son) to an instructor, presumably it’s because the instructor has a level of expertise you don’t possess. Or your daughter (or son) just tunes you out and needs to hear the same thing from a different voice.

Either way, if you’re repeating what the instructor says you’re not getting what you want out of it.

It’s like the scene in the movie “The Blind Side” where the private tutor is suggesting topics for Michael Oher to write about. At one point she mentions “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” at which point Michael’s father starts quoting the poem from the couch as he’s watching basketball.

The tutor (played by the great Kathy Bates) then says to him, “How about you come teach then and I’ll watch basketball?”

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be involved in the lessons. I will always invite parents to come in close to observe and listen so they can reinforce what I’m teaching. After all, I tell them, they will spend a lot more time with their daughter (or son) than I ever will.

But it’s not an open invitation to jump in and conduct the lesson, or parrot what I just said.

It’s an opportunity to hear it first-hand rather than trying to guess what’s being said from a distance based on hand gestures and other movements.

Now, if a parent needs a clarification because he/she doesn’t understand, then absolutely. Speak up.

If a parent recognizes that his/her daughter (or son) isn’t getting it, based on verbal cues, then yes, they should encourage their daughter (or son) to ask a question rather than standing there silently in panic. No problem there.

But they should let the instructor instruct.

That especially goes for the bucket parents who are on the receiving end of pitches. Don’t tell your daughter (or son) to throw strikes, or complain that you’re having to chase the ball or that your daughter (or son) isn’t doing this or that correct.

That’s the instructor’s job. He or she probably has a process, and you inserting other ideas can mess that up considerably.

Simply pay attention to what’s being said, try to understand what the goals are for the lesson, and be supportive as your daughter (or son) attempts to learn something new or get out of her (or his) comfort zone to improve her (or his) performance.

Yes, we know you want your daughter (or son) to be successful, and in our modern world you want that success to come fast. But remember everyone learns at their own pace. If you’re bringing your daughter (or son) to a professional, let that professional do his/her job.

In the end the progress will be faster, and you’ll feel like you got a lot more for your investment of time and money.

Photo by Jean van der Meulen on Pexels.com